A Hypochondriac’s Story of Reentering Into Social Life After The Pandemic

Ever since I was a kid, I had severe health anxiety. After years of therapy, yoga, meditation, reading and research – I came to the realization that it all stemmed from the unstable household I lived in.

Mom was a very unstable alcoholic and verbal abuser on one side, but super loving about 30% of the time. Dad was an alcoholic/drug user and verbally:physically abusive, however he was much more stable, he went to work everyday, he was what I deemed as a “functioning addict”(although now he’s in his 70s and a full blown crack head asking me to deliver him jujubes and jelly beans…I kid you not, can’t make that shit up).

As a kid nothing was ever consistent for my brother and I. There was no sense of security or stability, therefore I developed a lot of anxiety. It started with tummy aches for me but mom and dad ignored those. It was really only when I got sick with the flu that I got the attention that I craved. That loving care. Asking how I was feeling. Finally wonder how I was doing instead of always being caught up in their own drama and addictions.

My anxious tummy aches from my home life started happening at school and sent me to the nurses office one day — I was immediately hooked. I felt safe in the nurses office. There was no yelling, she cared about me, talked to me, didn’t judge me. Reflecting on this is bringing tears to my eyes because I actually dreamt as a kid of just staying in that nurses office forever. I ended up…