Ask Yourself These Questions To Know if You’re The One Who Needs To Change

Is it best to remove people from our lives, or learn to look inward?

Michelle Love
5 min readDec 11, 2022


It’s normal for people to come and go from our lives. I can’t think of one person who hasn’t gone through a breakup, a divorce, a break from a family member, or has lost a friend at some point.

And I’m not referring to someone dying, I’m talking about choosing to go your separate ways — initiated by either party or both.

When relationships end – most people are quick to put blame the other person. Women are especially guilty of this with regard to breakups. Women almost always blame the man with the support of their girlfriends (I’m referring to a hetero relationship here, of course — because that's what I know best). It can make it easier to break up with someone and not go back if you bash them for what they did to you and how awful they were, with your friends having your back.

And sure, that might be true. But, if it’s always the other person's fault, then when is it ever our fault?

Surely we must be accountable sometimes, right?

Photo by Mental Health America (MHA):

I’ve spent all day thinking about this question…

How can you tell whether it’s a problem that you need to address in yourself or whether it truly is something external to you that you should consider distancing yourself from?

To find the answer, it’s really quite simple...

Ask yourself — is the problem something you find yourself having with multiple people in your life? If so, it’s most likely something within you that only you can address and change. This might take a really deep dive, learning self-awareness — I recommend getting support from a professional like a therapist or coach.

Alternatively — Is this something that is only brought out/triggered by one person? Then you have some hard thinking to do on whether that relationship is worth it to continue with. Which of course, can be very difficult when it’s a husband/wife/child/family member or a long-time friend.

I’ll give you a…



Michelle Love

My public journal about all the things I’ve been through & I’m interested in—with the hope that it benefits you. 🤍 Love is the answer