My Process For Finding My Ideal Life

Lately, I’ve been asking myself questions like – What do I really want from this life? What work do I want to do? Where do I want to live? Do I want to get married? Do I want kids? I’ve never wanted them…but do I now? What the fuck is my purpose?!

All the big, lofty questions that are a bit overwhelming to answer.

The truth is, I’ve been going through a little funk. Ok, it’s a kind of big funk, but I’m calling it little because I know everything will work out, it always does. Call me an optimist, but hey — as long as I’m still breathing why would I choose to look at things negatively? It is a choice, after all, one that would make life a lot more difficult. So anyway….

My ‘funk’ is mainly based on the fact that I’m kind of miserable about my current job, it has filled years of my life with busy-ness and challenge, which was lovely, but it's no longer challenging — it’s draining me, burning me out and I feel stagnant, like I’m no longer learning and growing — so I’m going through a transition. Although transitions can be a big source of excitement – I’m learning that change can be really hard for me. I have spent 10 years of my life committed to building a career and routine that no longer serves me — it feels like I’m losing a huge part of myself — I’m grieving. Like, actually physically grieving this (crying on the floor) and resisting the transition on a daily, hourly basis at times, even though I know it’s the right thing to do.