Slowly Moving From Denial to Self-Discovery after a Abusive Relationship

I was in an abusive relationship — and in denial about it. I still feel like it’s my fault and I deserved it, but I’m working through that every day.

I think I’m finally starting to come up for air. For the last 4 years, I’ve gradually lost my confidence — it started pretty decent, and now it’s nonexistent…

As cliche as it sounds after being in an abusive relationship, I feel like a shell of myself. I still resist even calling it an abusive relationship, because I was so defensive about it the entire time we were together.

I wanted to believe it was just a phase for him, and that we would someday be the dream couple that I thought we could be, but we can’t. That he would someday stop calling me names, ignoring me, wearing me down, breaking my things, purposely rejecting me… and suddenly turn into prince charming, as he promised! That is not reality, that is exactly what I just said — a dream.

I tend to live in a fantasy world when it comes to romantic love.

I tend to see the potential in people, even when they don’t see it in themselves.

I tend to be gullible in believing the apologies and promises, rather than take them for who they are showing me that they are.