Thank you for the response - I knew I'd get lots of responses like this and I appreciate it! I have dealt with covert narcissists. I've deal with all types, and had to go deep into research and really question myself throughout this whole process, but my message here is that we can choose to not be the victim. We can choose to be empowered, to learn to take care of ourselves, notice the signs, set boundaries (which might mean leaving - or getting a restraining order) but never, ever giving a narcissist, or any abuser for that matter, the power of control over our minds and making us the victim. We don't need to be in a victim mentality, we can take back control - it's a choice, and I chose to do the work to get there! There are always going to be massive aggressive, manipulative people - its up to us to choose how we deal with it, it's not up to us to just blame them and become small. I hope this helps make sense of it!