Thank you for this response! You are absolutely right - SOME hurt people hurt people. You and I are very similar in the way we have dealt with our trauma, and my partner and mother are more like your brother.

My bandwith is definitely stretched thing at times and there have been friends with narcissistic behaviours that I've chosen to distance myself from, but I've chosen to do the work with my partner because I see signs of growth and change. It sounds like your brother was not willing at this time, my brother was the same way and we didn't speak for 4.5 years, but now we're absolute best friends after he went off and "did the work" so - theres hope - I hope your brother comes around and learns to appreciate that you both likely share similar stories and theres an opportunity to bond and heal over that - but for now, the distance is likely so health for you, there is no shame in taking space and removing yourself from a toxic situation.