They Might Not Be a Narcissist — It Could Be Your Lack of Self Autonomy

After years of reflection and research on this trend of “narcissism,” here’s what I’ve realized.

These days, everyone seems to know a narcissist. I didn’t even know what it truly meant until around a year ago when a friend of mine was convincing me that my partner is a narcissist and warned me….endlessly.

She had been through the wringer with these so-called “covert narcissists” and taught me all about gaslighting, lack of empathy, and all the other terms and behaviors that went along with it. She could seriously write a book about it — I was really impressed.

I went down into a deep dark rabbit hole of research and started to believe it all. Suddenly I felt trapped — a victim, and I needed to get out. Our relationship started to fall apart as I created a game plan on how to leave.

However, I’ve always been the type to play devil's advocate and look at things from every possible perspective before making a decision. I started by looking at myself, could I be the narcissist?

I talked to my therapist, I wrote down my own personality traits, and I asked my closest friends — I didn’t want to be quick to dismiss it because although I knew myself to be the opposite of many of the traits, maybe I was delusional. I knew I could be manipulative at times. The closer I looked, I realized I had gaslit people before….But I also know that…