This is such a beautiful response, thank you! The way you explained narcissism is pretty bang on - however I do believe they can change. I am not speaking lightly when I say that I've spent my whole life with a narcissist - my mother. It has been over 30 years of me trying to help her, seeking out therapy, trying every single thing. She checks every single box - and setting boundaries was never to help her in the beginning. Learning to set, and keep boundaries was to help me - but what I noticed after years of practicing it consistently and in this new way - where I was firm and strong and clear with why I was doing it - it started to work. Now, sure, it could be that she noticed her patterns and is still a narcissist, and found new ways to manipulate me - but how? Also, how is that an issue? I feel so much better about where we are at, I feel more respected by her, I don't feel manipulated by her because I don't let her - she actually is practicing empathy and finally understanding it - and it was robotic at first, but it's starting to actually sit naturally with her, and my partner. So - I actually think that this is possible - and I know I will get TONS of backlash - but why? I'd rather see victims of narcissists have hope that theres a solution to people who must be in their lives, and try to make their own lives better rather than sit there as victims, being eaten away at until they are left a skeleton of themselves, like I was, before I started practicing this. I hope this helps elaborate on my point - and yes - I do want to help the narcissist, I think they super in need of help - its a mental disorder thats causing harm to others - but we do need to help ourselves first. Thank you!